we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
