At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
