hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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