last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
