We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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