you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
