No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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