is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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