Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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