You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
