who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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