He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
