Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
jump out the window naked night went bad
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