you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
