where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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