im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
