Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
