is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
