I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize