Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
