I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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