I think im going to throw up on grandma
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize