I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
