Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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