what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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