Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
