What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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