WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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