how can u be prego again
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize