We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
