so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This baby is an asshole
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
