i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
