Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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