Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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