Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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