my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
