thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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