Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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