Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
