Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
