Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
