Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
