just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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