yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize