i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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