At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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