I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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