Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
