Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
