you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
