Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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