Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
