if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
