she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
