just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
